Month: May 2018

7 Potential Reasons Why Your Relationship Is Not Working

Nothing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted. Some disagreements and discussions make sense and are in fact healthy; his words against hers, her values in the face of his values, old traditions…

Difficult Times? It Is All A State Of Mind

We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralyzed and wonder how we will get through. Life as it is, does seem to throw the proverbial “spanner in the works” sometimes and we often feel…

The Ideal Self: Realistic Or A Myth?

Anyone who practices therapy or has an interest in it will have probably been influenced by Carl Rogers. He developed person-centered therapy and was one of the key founders of humanistic psychology.  His knowledge and influence is still present today in many therapeutic approaches and his books are still widely read. He is certainly one…

Be Kind To Your Internal Family And Gain Access To The Self

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our Internal family of thinking parts. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the parts and pushing them away, we are maybe losing an ideal opportunity…

Key Aspects In Codependent Recovery

The term “recovery” is perhaps a bit misleading. There are no guarantees in the process and a lot of things must come together at once. At the heart of this process is a willingness to work on oneself and to accept that codependency is an issue. This means accepting responsibility for change and not passing…

How A Child Can Become A Parent Before Becoming An Adult

When we think about child abuse, our thoughts often stop at sexual abuse of minors. However, the term child abuse, often replaced by child maltreatment, has a broad spectrum of definition. The WHO defines it as follows : “Child maltreatment, sometimes referred to as child abuse and neglect, includes all forms of physical and emotional ill-treatment, sexual…

Building up to “Aha” Moments In Therapy

As a therapist, I am always happy when one of my clients has a “aha” moment. This is that very moment when everything comes together and you just know, it is going to initiate some form of positive change in the client’s disposition. I may have realised it was going to happen some time before…

Codependency: Stop The Rot By Connecting With Your Child

If you are a codependent and have children of your own, then there is a better than average chance that the codependent tendencies you have, will be passed down through a dysfunctional parenting style. One that has too many boundaries or not enough. Codependency is generational and many clients I work with have described one…

“He Is Like A Drug” Codependency: Truly An Addiction?

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
Can we really place Codependency in the same category as drug and alcohol addiction? Does it really compare in any sense to the misery of substance abuse, gambling or shopping addiction? Codependency has been called the “love addiction” and anyone who is “enmeshed” with…