Month: March 2018

A Self Challenge: Identifying The Parts Of My Own Thinking.

I have been quite active lately promoting the use of tools and methods to challenge and potentially overcome blocks in thinking that keep one stuck in the proverbial “hamster wheel” of inaction and overthinking. Partly inspired by reading and the influence of such therapies as psychoanalysis and internal family systems, I have been quite happy…

Book Excerpt: What Are You Prepared To Do For Your Relationship?

“Being involved romantically with another human being is to use a famous quote “the best and worst of times”. We proclaim our love, often far too quickly, and make irrational decisions. We believe we can take on the world and our own world is in order. Though when it goes wrong, things swing quickly in…

Dealing with Codependency In Therapy

At the heart of this process is a willingness to work on oneself and to accept that co-dependency is an issue in relationships. This means accepting responsibility for change and not passing that responsibility (or blame) onto others. It takes courage to look at and assess early life experiences and learn new skills that will help deal with early…

Throwback Post: The Three Stages Of Narcissist Relationships

Narcissists are the proverbial Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next. A roller-coaster ride for anyone involved with them. When we become involved in a new relationship, a need to bond and connect with others is usually the main reason, leading hopefully to love. However, narcissists have their own reasons…

Understanding The “Parts” of Your Thinking

Many therapeutic approaches deal with our thinking as a major part of the work needed to recover from our ills. CBT, especially, doesn`t look at events but how our perception of the event affects us. It looks at layers of thinking from automatic thoughts to core beliefs as an aid to this. CBT, however, works…

New Podcast: Codependency & Polarized Thinking: The Key to Healthy Thought Patterns (E21 with Dr Nicholas Jenner)

The voices in our head that guide us are not always functional. Many of these protector voices were formed in childhood to keep us away from hurt and trauma. They follow us into adulthood and they are powerful influences on our lives. However, they stop us moving forward and facing our real fears. Learn how…

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

I once had a client who was involved with the most abusive, self-absorbed, self-centered, controlling man you could ever imagine.  He abused her physically, emotionally, financially and verbally to the deepest levels. He was the nastiest individual I had ever come across in my many years as a practicing therapist. There was not a scrap…

How We Sabotage Our Ability To Get Things Done….

I have written quite a lot lately about reaching a point where change is possible, moving forward is possible and it just takes that step or choice to make it happen. This is where many people get stuck in the hamster wheel of over analysis and procrastination. The “Manager” protector is usually very strong here.…

Only Definitive Action Can Move You Forward.

As humans, we are used to making excuses, taking the easy way out and procrastinating things we know need doing. With so much technology available these days at our fingertips, we can always find a way to distract ourselves from the main thing. It is part of our make-up and is hard to shrug off,…