Month: October 2017

Don’t Let Fear Keep You In A Relationship

It has been well documented that since the mid eighties, 50% of all marriages result in divorce. Interestingly, it is the seventh year of marriage which presents itself as the most popular time to bid goodbye. ​ The latter statistic most likely gave rise to the cliché we all know these days as the seven-year…

Podcast: The Love Hangover. Why Codependents Get Stuck

As a codependent, it is tough to end a toxic relationship. However, many codependents falter while dealing with the aftermath and being alone. Learn how you can navigate yourself through this process.   Blogposts and videos mentioned in this podcast are available here: – (Blogpost) Codependency: getting what you truly want is scary: https://freefromcodependency.com/2017… –…

My Take On True Love

I deal with many clients who have real problems understanding how relationships work. Even with experience, they often make the same mistakes over and over again. ​ Being involved romantically with another human being is to use a famous quote “the best and worst of times”. We proclaim our love, often far too quickly, and…

Therapy For Codependency: Get Help From Your Internal Family

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…

Codependency: How Therapy Works

At the heart of this process is a willingness to work on oneself and to accept that co-dependency is an issue in relationships. This means accepting responsibility for change and not passing that responsibility (or blame) onto others. It takes courage to look at and assess early life experiences and learn new skills that will help deal with early…

Codependent Love Is Not Love: Learn To Set Boundaries

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Narcissism And Codependency: The Dysfunctional Dynamic

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…

How Early Attachments Make A Difference To Our Relationships

We can look very closely at the past for a clue as to why things often go wrong in adult relationships. The early attachments (or not) that we make with our primary caregivers set the tone for behavior and conditioning in adulthood. These attachments, whether secure or insecure go way back to our very early…

Why We Say “I Love You” And Its True Meaning

I love you… Just words, often misused, often overstated, often said without conviction but when these three little words are missing, it can have a devastating effect on a couple and their relationship. How easy it is to take for granted that your partner somehow knows that you love them without you actually saying it,…

The 4 Pillars Of Relationship Success

There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…