Month: October 2017

Podcast: The Love Hangover. Why Codependents Get Stuck

As a codependent, it is tough to end a toxic relationship. However, many codependents falter while dealing with the aftermath and being alone. Learn how you can navigate yourself through this process.   Blogposts and videos mentioned in this podcast are available here: – (Blogpost) Codependency: getting what you truly want is scary: https://freefromcodependency.com/2017… –…

Therapy For Codependency: Get Help From Your Internal Family

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…

Why We Say “I Love You” And Its True Meaning

I love you… Just words, often misused, often overstated, often said without conviction but when these three little words are missing, it can have a devastating effect on a couple and their relationship. How easy it is to take for granted that your partner somehow knows that you love them without you actually saying it,…

The 4 Pillars Of Relationship Success

There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up 4 to 6

Continuing my post on moving on from a bad breakup, let’s look at steps 4 to 6: Watch that Rebound! There are those people who seem to jump from one dysfunctional relationship and straight into another. There are differing opinions about rebound relationships and what role they play in recovery. It has been suggested that…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up…. 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably, we all generally get it wrong. Whether you ended the relationship or were on the receiving end, feelings can run high and…

7 Ways Your Relationship Could Be Going Wrong

Nothing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted. Some disagreements and discussions make sense and are in fact healthy; his words against hers, her values in the face of his values, old traditions…

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less. However, even those who do this often do not know how to talk about problems effectively and…

Perfectionism Is Truly Driven By Self Defeating Thoughts

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labours is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?…

How Childhood Abuse Can Subdue The Inner Child

When we think about child abuse, our thoughts often stop at sexual abuse of minors. However, the term child abuse, often replaced by child maltreatment, has a broad spectrum of definition. The WHO defines it as follows : “Child maltreatment, sometimes referred to as child abuse and neglect, includes all forms of physical and emotional ill-treatment,…