Thinking about Death

Death has been on my mind a lot recently and it has made me think. I have what some may class as a close relationship with the subject because I have been there and done that. In 2005, while suffering from a brain infection, I collapsed in a doctor’s waiting room. I can still remember the sudden peace that came over me after an initial moment of panic. I can still remember that last few moments before everything went black, seeing images of my life flashing before me culminating in the very last image of my 26 year old daughter as a three year old riding her tricycle. It was not until afterwards that I was told that I had in fact “died” and was resuscitated by a quick thinking young doctor after about thirty seconds.  Despite my mother and stepfather dying at a young age, I have, since my brush with death, tried to put death and life into perspective. That perspective includes an acceptance of my own mortality, that my time on Earth should be used to good effect and I should never forget “the moment”, that is, being aware of my present. This perspective is helping me greatly in my work at the moment as I am dealing with some clients whose fear of death is stopping them living. I was extremely interested to read the results of a new study on the subject. This actually suggests that fear of death can be used positively. This is summarized below:

Thoughts of dying can become obsessive and negative, however research suggests that thinking about death can be a good thing.  Being healthily aware that none of us is immortal can help us to prioritize both our values and our goals whilst having a beneficial effect on our physical health.

Even subconscious thoughts about dying, such as a walk past a graveyard, can promote positive change and thoughts of helping others.

No previous study has explored the potential benefits of being aware of death.  In fact, past studies suggest that thoughts of death are dangerous and destructive.  It was though that they felled negative actions encompassing everything from greed and violence to prejudice.  These previous studies related to TMT (terror management theory) which works on the principal that we have cultural beliefs in order to cope with feelings of mortality.

‘This tendency for TMT research to primarily deal with negative attitudes and harmful behaviours has become so deeply entrenched in our field that some have recently suggested that death awareness is simply a bleak force of social destruction,’ says Kenneth Vail of the University of Missouri.  Vail is the lead author of this new study, the findings of which can be found online in Personality and Social Psychology Review.

He added ‘There has been very little integrative understanding of how subtle, day-to-day, death awareness might be capable of motivating attitudes and behaviours that can minimise harm to oneself and others, and can promote well-being.’

Vail and colleagues set out to construct a new model for the way we contemplate our mortality.  They reviewed data from recent research on this subject and found many examples of experiments, from both the laboratory and in the field, that suggest positives to natural thoughts of death.

Recent studies also suggest that thinking about death can promote better physical health, as when we are reminded of our mortality we may make better health choices.  We could be prompted to use sun block, cut down on the number of cigarettes we smoke, or to take more exercise.

Vail says that an important implication of this work is that we should ‘turn attention and research efforts towards better understanding of how the motivations triggered by death awareness can actually improve people’s lives, rather than how it can cause malady and social strife.

He concludes ‘The dance with death can be a delicate but potentially elegant stride towards living the good life.’

Dr Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals,couples,  groups and companies globally. Online therapy is, in his experience, effective for treating a number of major conditions. Are you having issues that you need to talk through? He has a range of plans that can help you get the help you need.  Online Therapy details : Here ……

  4 comments for “Thinking about Death

  1. March 16, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    Wow! Your thoughts about your near brush with death are refreshing, Dr. Nick! As you know, I recently went through the death of my long-time friend/husband/partner and, although I miss him, his death brought a renewed realization about the finiteness of life to me. I never knew you’d gone through such an experience, but my best friend had many such brushes with death in his younger years and he lived each day with such positive and energetic views about all aspects of his life.
    I suppose it’s a question we all need to ask ourselves from time to time: What do we want from life in the context of our relatively short existence?
    As always, thanks for your inspiration! 🙂 And enjoy an amazing day!

    • March 16, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      Thanks Gloria and I am happy to hear that you are dealing with the situation positively.

  2. March 16, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Have you read the book, “Journey of Souls” by Michael Newton, Ph.D? It’s about life after death and lives of souls in between lives. He is a hypnotherpist and the data started coming through in sessions with clients.

    • March 17, 2014 at 3:05 am

      Thanks for the comment. I haven’t read this particular book but thanks for the recommendation.

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