On the subject of Suicide…..

The subject of suicide is always heavily covered in the news , (It is a little known fact that more suicides occur in summer than in winter ). Despite that,  most studies suggest that suicide rates are rising.  Statistics from the WHO say that over one million people commit suicide every year and this figure is increasing every year. That is one death every forty seconds and a sixty per cent rise since 1945. One factor in this is clearly our modern, hectic lifestyle which cares little for emotional well-being. It is also strongly believed that other factors including living conditions, cultural and family restrictions as well as religion play a major role. Alarmingly, suicide amongst young people aged between 15 and 25 is on an all time global high. Interestingly, there are approximately twenty million attempted suicides per year, according to the WHO, meaning that 1 in 20 actually achieve their aim.

One of the main features of some of the more recent stories of suicide in the media has been that suicide was committed by people who seemingly had everything to live for and showed no obvious signs of depression, worry or any kind of problem . However, given that depression carries such a stigma in many societies and cultures, this is hardly surprising.  One must then ask, was it planned or was it just an explosion of feelings that lead to the ultimate in spontaneous death? We can only speculate about this but an analysis of suicide notes (WHO) suggests that many times one single event pushed an otherwise depressed person over the edge. We all feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or situations sometimes. But most people get through it or can put their problems in perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope. So why does one person try suicide when another person in the same tough situation does not? What makes some people more resilient (better able to deal with life’s setbacks and difficulties) than others? What makes a person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending his or her life? Is it possible that someone ends their life so brutally without a long catalogue of problems?

The answer to those questions lies in the fact that statistically most people who commit suicide have depression whether it is clear beforehand or not.

Many times, these questions can never be answered and loved ones and friends left behind torture themselves with thoughts of uncertainty, guilt and anguish but often the warning signs are there .Warning signs that an individual is imminently planning to kill themselves may include the person making a will, getting his or her affairs in order, suddenly visiting friends or family members (one last time), buying instruments of suicide like a gun, hose, rope, pills or other forms of medications, a sudden and significant decline or improvement in mood, or writing a suicide note. Contrary to popular belief, many people who complete suicide do not tell their therapist or any other mental-health professional they plan to kill themselves in the months before they do so. If they communicate their plan to anyone, it is more likely to be someone with whom they are personally close, like a friend or family member. However there are also many myths surrounding the subject which I would like to look at here.

Myth:    People who talk about suicide don’t do it. Fact:   Talking about suicide can be an appeal for help. Most people usually communicate their intentions to suicide to another person, either directly or indirectly. This could include dropping hints about suicide, talking about death or dying, or writing a poem. If not responded to, the person’s thoughts could progress to action – a suicide attempt. All talk of suicide should therefore be taken seriously and acknowledged as such to the suicidal person. People who talk about suicide should be encouraged to talk further and seek professional support.

Myth:    Once a person decides to complete suicide, there is nothing anyone can do to stop them. Fact:   The suicidal crisis represents a cry for help rather than a wish to die. A part of the person wants to live and a part wants to die. With help the person can be encouraged towards life. If the person receives the help he or she is seeking, an attempt is less likely. Suicidal crises can be relatively short-lived. To protect the person during this time: stay with the person, listen to their struggle and encourage them to keep safe. Help the person to access professional support, as many people do move beyond seeing death as an option with professional assistance.

Myth:    All deaths are preventable. Fact:   Despite our best efforts to help a person at risk of suicide, some people who attempt suicide will die as a result of their actions.

Myth:    Suicides happen without any warning/ are spontaneous acts/ people keep their plans to themselves. Fact:   Studies have indicated that as many as eight out of ten people give a warning of their intention to suicide. More often, this intention is not recognised rather than hidden.

Myth:    Talking openly about suicide increases the risk. Fact:   It is important not to treat suicide as a taboo subject. Raising the issue sensitively and asking directly about suicide gives the person at risk permission to speak about his or her distress, and demonstrates to the person that you care. Rather than feeling worse, the person at risk could feel relieved if the issue of suicide is raised in a caring and non-judgmental manner. This could prevent action and increase the chances of the person at risk seeking further help.

Myth:    People who talk about suicide/ make a nonfatal suicide attempt are just seeking attention. Fact:   All suicidal thoughts and behaviours are a cry for help that need to be listened to and responded to. We cannot make assumptions about the person’s intentions and need to take this seriously. Anyone distressed enough to talk about or attempt suicide needs professional support. Addressing the underlying problems through talking with a professional helper could reduce the likelihood of future attempts.

Myth:    Suicidal people always want to die. Fact:   The majority of people who attempt suicide are confused about whether they want to live or die. Most people want to live better and happier lives but need relief from the intense emotional pain they are experiencing. If people in the midst of a suicidal crisis were certain that they wanted to die, they would not be communicating their distress to others. In communicating their distress to others in this way, suicidal people are actually reaching out for help to ease their emotional pain.

Let me leave you with a few choice quotes on the subject:

“Suicide is a whispered word, inappropriate for polite company. Family and friends often pretend they do not hear the word’s dread sound even when it is uttered. For suicide is a taboo subject that stigmatize not only the victim but the survivors as well “. EARL A. GROLLMAN, Suicide

“The reality of suicide is far different from the fantasy. Most suicidal thinkers romanticize their death by suicide, failing to realize that any suicide gesture or attempt can result in permanent brain, kidney, or liver damage, loss of limbs, blindness, or even death”. SUSAN ROSE BLAUNER, How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. He can be booked  for online sessions from anywhere in the world. First consultation free. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

  4 comments for “On the subject of Suicide…..

  1. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital)
    July 19, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    I wrote a long comment and then lost it. Darn.

    Just wanted to say that this was pretty difficult to read as I am still having suicidal thoughts, albeit, less than before which is good. But I still feel this impulsiveness that I will do something or even I’ll be in an accident (passive) where I didn’t try to end my life, but I will die. I don’t see my life as being a long lead one.

    I feel extremely confused and stuck – Want to live (for others), want to die (for myself, to end this horribleness).

    Sounds silly but I’m 27 and it feels like I’ve already wasted away the best years of my life. I have regrets and I know that regrets are no good, But looking forward, I have no idea what to do with my life, in any and every aspect. It’s constantly driving me crazy.

    Keep up the good work Dr 🙂

  2. July 20, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Thank you for your comment and sharing your feelings.

  3. artyelf
    July 21, 2012 at 2:50 am

    It is always good to see someone destigmatizing issues pertaining to suicide and offering suggestions about how to deal with a person who may be suicidal.
    Good post.

    • July 21, 2012 at 8:41 am

      Thanks for the comment and I hope you are well. This is a subject that should be spoken about. Surely the value of a medium like this is to help bring awareness. If it helps just one person, that is enough.

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